Proverbs 23:22 - 25
Viewing entries tagged
Proverbs
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Proverbs 18:24
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Listening guide
Proverbs 17:17 “17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity”
Proverbs 18:24” One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”
“Friendship is … the least instinctive, organic, biological … and necessary.”
“America has never felt more isolated and more lonely than it does today. In fact there are three times as many people today as in 1985 who would categorize themselves as desperately lonely.” (General Social Survey)
We _____________ our friends so ___________________ is totally _______________.
Proverbs 14:20 The poor are shunned even by their neighbors, but the rich have many friends.
Proverbs 17:9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 19:6 Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts.
Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
“everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15
Friendships must share a ____________________ ___________.
Not _____________________, not ______________________, not _______ ________________, maybe _________________.
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13
Great friendships form from the gospel.
Sermon
We’ve gotten so much out of Proverbs so far for “The Good Life”. I’m not going to run through all the things we’ve been learning. You can look at the wall outside there if you want. Or you can look in your own devotional book because I’m sure like me you’re adding that wisdom there.
We've been taking to heart this basic principle: wisdom is what you have for the 80% of times in life where there are no rules.
I mean, we are living in a pandemic. There are basic rules. You should not murder. You shall love your neighbor. That certainly doesn’t tell you if you should hug your grandkids. A friend just said to me we should go out and play some games with this guy.
I feel hardly worthy to give you God’s message on today’s verses. Friendship is hard for me. Pastors are a weird bunch. We’re unique.
For whatever reason, sometimes people like you and sometimes they don’t. I do have some good friends. I’m constantly practicing and applying these things with them.
Promise that we would be better friends
I suspect a lot of you would basically agree and say, look how much can there be to say about this? We agree that friendship is important. Our culture values friendship. We produce a TV show called “Friends”! Who else can say that! Plus we’ve got Cheers, Big Bang Theory and on down the line. How much more could the Bible have for us?
I could try to make you feel like you’re missing something by pointing out the number of friends you do or don’t have.
That misses it, because God wants us to see just how unique a relationship friendship really is. It’s uniqueness. If you see how unique friendship is, you will want more friends. You will work to make more friends, no matter what.
Proverbs 17:17 “17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity”
Proverbs 18:24” One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”
You see how there is a contrast here between friendship and bother? There is a contrast between friendship and family.
Friendship is a totally different kind of relationship. Family relationships mostly blood. Romantic relationships built on lust, desire. Coworker and other business relationships which are entirely duties and obligations. Last, civic relationships, like neighbors and community built on this social contract.
Friendships are totally different. CS Lewis said about “Friendship is … the least instinctive, organic, biological … and necessary.”
You wouldn’t be here without romantic love. You wouldn’t grow up, be raised without family love. You wouldn’t get through your days without the kind of general affection and warmth that is part of civil love. You wouldn’t survive all the wrongdoing and evil of life without sacrificial love.
We could at least naturally, organically survive every day of our lives without friendship. If you’ve discovered friendship, you have something that is really unique.
You might be saying, pastor, I don’t think I could survive without my friends. I’ve got great friends. I love them. They love me. We mean everything to each other.
First, you’ve got to watch out that you’re not confused. When I think carefully about my friendship, I realize that often – not all the time but often – it's a messed up mix of romantic love and desire, combined with sacrificial love, and some general affection for the friends of the person I really like.
Secondly, and more important, if you’ve got great friends, good for you. Awesome. That is really unique.
General Social Survey from 2018 of 20,000 plus people reported this. “America has never felt more isolated and more lonely than it does today. In fact there are three times as many people today as in 1985 who would categorize themselves as desperately lonely.”
Do you know what the most common response to how many confidants do you have in your life is? 0. I have no one in my life that I can really be close to, that I can really be transparent and open with.
Fully 1/3 of American households now have only one person living in them. 1 out of 3.
If we’ve got good relationships that are biologically or sociologically unnecessary, that’s amazing. That’s incredible.
The word sticks (“… there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”) is a Hebrew word that’s often translated in the Old Testament cleave. It means commitment out of a passionate love. A friend is better, in many ways, than a sibling.
When you have a friend, you’ve chosen them. You don’t have to be with them. You pick them.
I know this is kind of scary to say, there are a lot of great thinkers who would say, our generation, our time, we don’t have much real friendships. We don’t have great friendships. C.S. Lewis one time listed all these great friendships “David and Jonathan, Orestes and Pylades, Roland and Oliver, Amis and Amiles. Then he goes on to say he can’t think of any friendships like those celebrated today.
Like Lewis said, one of the best examples of true friendship comes from the Bible. David and Jonathan
…. That relationship was not biologically necessary and it was actually unhelpful.
We choose our friends so friendship is totally unique.
I think about how I’m doing at this. I’ve got a friendship that I’ve been sort of trying to cultivate over the last 3 years. (JS)
I’m not that great. I’m not in this case succeeding at building this friendship. I am not choosing and picking to be with that person.
I don’t think we realize how blind we are on this. Good kids grow up in good families.
WK – “take care of your family”. That’s their choice.
We’re missing then a relationship that isn’t necessary in any way.
This is what Jesus did. John 15:15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
Jesus uses a lot of different pictures to describe the relationship we have with him. Servants, slaves, children. But one he says is, “I’m driven to make you friends. To make you my friend.”
We’ve got to realize what Jesus is saying here. The power and the weight of this. It’s easy to think of Jesus becoming friends with us goes like this. We think we should imagine it like this. I think of when I was touring a church in Yinchuan China about 10 years ago. It just so happened that some other Chinese people a few years older than us were there, with a kid just our age.
It’s not like that. It’s not like that at all. What that says is that there was something in you, there was some social need or some biological need for you to have a relationship with someone and someone to have a relationship with you.
What Jesus does, he wants a friendship for something else.
This is what makes friendships work. Proverbs says it like this:
Proverbs 14:20 The poor are shunned even by their neighbors, but the rich have many friends.
Proverbs 17:9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 19:6 Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts.
Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
Friends always connect over something else.
Jesus says, “everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”
A common interest, a common experience, a common bond that connects you. CS Lewis said, “What, you too? I thought I was the only one.”
Friendships must share a common bond.
This tells us why friendships are so hard, why we’re so bad at them, and it shows us how to fix them. Look at all these things.
Let’s talk about them for a second. Take a look at each of these statements.
Proverbs is saying, you’ve got to have something in common for a friendship. It’s also saying if it is any of these things, your friendship won’t work.
Proverbs 14:20 The poor are shunned even by their neighbors, but the rich have many friends.
Not money
Proverbs 17:9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Not gossip
Proverbs 19:6 Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts
Not gift giving
Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
Maybe advice
This is why Jesus says, all these things could bond you together. look, the one thing that will bind us is what I make known to you. I’m telling you, you are more lost and sinful and corrupt than you know or imagine, but in me you are also more forgiven and accepted and welcomed. Not good advice or nice thoughts.
That’s the gospel!
The gospel is the best thing that makes friendship. I’m not saying it’s the only thing. Far and away. There are lots of other great things for friendship. But Jesus I think for good reason, we could walk on water together and be friends, but we won’t. We could eat miracle food together – okay, we did that. We could drink together. We did that. We could play games together. Nope. We could go to concerts together. Nope. We could go to church together. Did that! But the best thing,
The gospel.
Why?
Look at this. Have you ever seen this spot in the Bible where it says that Herod and Pontius Pilate became friends the day they made Jesus stand trial?
I think about this. Why is one of my best friends a Chinese man? Why do I have a great close friendship with a man 30 years my senior? Why was a Native American lady a great friend for 5 years? Why was a senior black man a good friend for 5 years?
Why is all this? Jesus says, 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
The great preacher Charles Spurgeon once said something like “Jesus Christ looked down from the cross and saw all the people denying him and betraying him and forsaking him and mocking him and rejecting him and in the greatest act of friendship in the history of the world, he stayed.” (Charles Spurgeon, source?)
The cross is the only place where people of every ethnicity, every class, every political persuasion can
Craziest stories of this – Marcus Borg and NT Wright
Marcus says, “Do you think God can forgive sins only because of Jesus’ sacrifice” - No
NT Wright says “The messiah (Jesus) died for our sins according to the scriptures”
“this book has grown out of a friendship” … “We offer the result to the reader as the celebration of shared friendship”
I’m not saying this is perfect. You can look at this and say, well, sure, of course Jesus can make friendships like this because it doesn’t matter. Religion isn’t real. Religion isn’t important. But how can that be? Look at all the religious wars. Look at all the I don’t think you can say that. You could also say...
The gospel is one thing that anyone can share in common.
Great friendships form from the gospel.
Action
Let’s do this.
One of the biggest challenges with Christianity is that people will lose relationships – friends, family. And to some extent, it’s true. One of the hardest things for a me as a pastor, is that over the years I have perhaps lost more people than I have gained. That’s hard. Makes me sad.
Great friendships form from gospel.
Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger, do not sin.”
Exodus 34:6 “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God slow to anger”.
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.”
Proverbs 20:2 “A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”
Proverbs 30:33 “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy”
Listening guide
John Casey - We must master our anger or it will master us.
The good of anger
Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger, do not sin.”
Exodus 34:6 “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God slow to anger”.
Problems with anger ….
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.”
____________________ of anger
Proverbs 20:2 “A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”
Proverbs 30:33 “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy”
the ______________________ of anger
“Take this cup from me. But no, okay, I’ll drink the cup.” (Luke 22:42)
Anger can be okay, but beware its source and results. Let’s have ________________ to ______________________.
Discussion questions
Sermons
Some of you may have seen the TV show Chuck. It features this nerdy guy named Chuck. He works at a Best Buy type store. His friend Bryce is a super spy. He sends him a computer program that basically turns Chuck into this insane bionic man. This makes him the greatest asset of the United States military.
The show is just ridiculous. It makes me laugh. Chuck has two elite bodyguards, one named John Casey. He is an elite warrior, trained in all sorts of martial arts and tactics. One time, he faces his old trainer – his sensei. His sensei has gone rogue – he is evil.
They fight. His sensei beats him, just pounds him. His sensei says, “you’ve lost your calm John. Your center is filled with conflict.” Then Chuck says to John, “I know why you’re such a mean person. You’re scared. Scared to be known. Scared that we would actually care about you. … Underneath you care. … Admit, say it, you love me, John Casey.”
John is ticked. He says, “I’m going to kill you.” Chuck turns him toward his sensei. He wins the fight. Chuck says, “Casey doesn’t really have a calm center. It’s more of an angry center.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A6h729SFv0&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=SweRicardo)
There is actually a lot to suggest the value of anger – not just for fighting. Researcher Todd Kashdan writes that “Research overwhelmingly indicates that feeling angry increases optimism, creativity, effective performance—and research suggests that expressing anger can lead to more successful negotiations, in life or on the job.” (TODD KASHDAN, ROBERT BISWAS-DIENER, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_right_way_to_get_angry
University of Michigan researchers found that unexpressed anger....when we hide anger it actually physically hurts us.
As a Christian, especially a young Christian, I tended to think all anger was bad. I’m not saying there isn’t good reason to think that. I had plenty of reason to think that. In my experience, angry people hurt themselves and others.
I had people who were so angry with things that they tried to kill themselves. I had people that when they felt wronged in a relationship they would intentionally try to ruin all the relationships of that person. I had people who were so hurt by family members that they seethed with anger all the time.
Adventure
And I know that is some of you. You’ve been hurt, at various times and in various ways. There is abuse, manipulation, deception, and mistreatment. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. That is just wrong. Period.
No matter how badly we’ve been treated or how much bad we’ve experienced, the Bible still shows us something. In Genesis 4, there is this story of two brothers, Cain and Abel.
Cain is angry. God comes to Cain and says, Cain, why are you angry? Sin is crouching at your door, you must rule over it.
This is what God shows us. We must master our anger or it will master us. Unless we’ve been changed by the gospel, anger is awful.
Today, God wants to change our anger into something better. Make it good. Make it better. Because anger can help. But it needs to be changed.
Develop
God knows more about anger than any of us. Let me show you.
He says that anger, in limited doses, is good.
Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger, do not sin.” Or some translations say “be angry and do not sin”. So for all of you saying, pastor this is kind of awkward. We were running late to church today and the kids just weren’t hurrying so I got angry and yelled at them to hustle, here is your note. I hope you got angry and did not sin.
Even God gets angry. When God announced his name he said, (Exodus 34:6) “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God slow to anger”. He didn’t say, “the God of no anger”. He said the God of slow anger.
And yet, yet,
The Bible is almost always negative about anger.
Here are 8 times that anger or angry shows up in the book of Proverbs. Sometimes the cause of anger is the problem.
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.”
This is far from a comprehensive list. These are two of the most common things that cause anger. Harsh words and mockery. We’d love to imagine that we get angry for good reasons. The truth is, what causes our anger? We make fun of people or we’re just mean.
Other times it’s what anger produces, the result of anger that is the problem.
Proverbs 20:2 “A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”
Proverbs 30:33 “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy”
---skip these---
Proverbs 21:14 “A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath.”
Proverbs 22:24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered,
-----
Look at all the bad things anger produces: death, conflict, strife, cruelty This is terrible. This is awful. Some of you experience this. Some of you live in homes like this. Some of you work in places like this.
I say that because I’ve been there. I’ve got my own problem with anger. I don’t think its really anymore or less than anyone else. I’ve just been there where almost all the time, anger has bad causes and bad results. I’ve been the guy....
One of the ways I process my anger is when I’m running. I’m running down the street and yelling about things. If you ever come driving past while I’m running, don’t take anything personally. It’s probably not about you.
Some of you are going to say, look pastor, the stuff I’m angry about....I don’t know if it’s bad causes or results. I’m angry because someone I loved was abused, or I was abused. I was cheated. I was lied to. Are you sure this isn’t one of those places where the Bible is just so traditional it can’t get it right?
Look, I get you. I understand that traditional cultures put all the emphasis on the family and the tribe and the clan and the nation. I know in those situations your part is to not rock the boat so that everyone can win. What you tell people to do with your anger, I heard this in China, people say, “Good people don’t get angry.” At first it sounds like this what the Bible is saying. It’s just another traditional culture. I don’t think that’s it.
Individualistic cultures, like America, the West, we put all this emphasis on getting your rights. We hold up anger as positive and say, express it. Yell at people. If people don’t listen to you when you ask nicely, well then sometimes you need to yell and scream or act violently until people do.
The first problem with this.... it’s kind of snobbish. Don’t you think it’s a little snobbish? If I say, all those traditional people want to control their anger. They don’t get angry. We know better. We emphasize individual rights and liberties. We let everyone speak up, everyone gets a vote. It’s much better this way.
Look, isn’t that just a little snobbish? Don’t you think there is more than a little sense there of, we modern Americans are better than everyone else?
Here is the thing. What right do you have to be angry? You’ve be wrong. You’ve been hurt. You’ve been taken advantage. You’ve been mistreated. I’m sorry. That’s terrible. It’s not right.
That doesn’t mean anger is right.
I want you to take a look at Jesus.
I would guess that Jesus was almost as angry as much as anyone else in his life. In the short time we know of Jesus’ story, as a 30 year old adult male, he didn’t just participate in but he actually started something of his own protest. He cleansed the temple. He didn’t just help the sick and poor, but he actually went into an ancient church where everyone was gathered around a sick man. He asked if it was okay to help the man. He was angry, furious with the leaders when they wouldn’t help. What I mean is, he was basically filing a public court case on behalf of a guy. He gets angry at people who push away and hurt and harm children. He tells them to throw themselves into the sea. He is angry at a tree because it symbolizes the Jewish leaders and doesn’t produce fruit, so he actually curses it.
There is only one time in Jesus’ life when you would think he would be angry, but he isn’t. Not at all. On trial and on the cross. They beat him. They spit on him. They falsely accuse him. Still, Mark says he was silent. He didn’t say a word.
Where is the outrage? Where is the anger at this? The first thing we’d all say is that it happened a long time ago. There is no need. Still, there is something more here. You watch Peter after Jesus’ death, or Stephen, or Paul. They aren’t mad. They aren’t angry.
There is something far deeper going on. Jesus is transforming anger and wrath itself.
In the garden of Gethsemane, before the trial and death, he said, “Take this cup from me. But no, okay, I’ll drink the cup.” (Luke 22:42) What’s the cup? Everywhere in the Old Testament the cup is the cup of God’s anger. The cup of anger is God’s anger we deserve. On the cross Jesus not only took our anger which he did not deserve, but he also took the anger we deserve. He took the wrath of God that should have been poured out on us.
A neat, not perfect example of how this matters comes from another pastor. He tells about two women he counseled once. Both had teenage sons. Both had husbands who were being lousy fathers. Because of the lousy fathering – and probably other reasons, the sons were starting to get in trouble with the law.
Both the wives were really mad at their husbands. I counseled them to forgive. The wife who had the worst husband did, and the wife who had the husband who wasn’t nearly that bad couldn’t do it. Why? Because for her the most important thing in her entire life was her son’s love. If her son loved her, then everything was fine. If her son didn’t love her, she didn’t even want to live. She believed in God, but God’s love was an abstract concept.
The other woman could say something like, God really does love me. I’m ticked at this whole situation. I’m upset at my husband. The most important thing in my life, is God’s love. My son broke rules, he broke laws. He is getting the punishment he deserves. There isn’t anything in me better than my husband. This is clearly an example of God’s grace. God’s wrath has fallen on Jesus. What he did is so awesome, so incredible. I can forgive my husband.
The other woman, I don’t know exactly what she was saying, but I imagine she was saying something like, I’m ticked at my husband. He has messed up my son. He has failed my son. He has messed up our lives. I’m more angry at that than I am at my son who has broken rules and laws. She never even thought, God actually does punish rule breakers. He actually was angry at his own Son. She never had the courage to confront them.
Even if you don’t believe in God, it’s nice to think that any God would be a forgiving God. Certainly he’ll forgive me, he’ll accept me, and welcome me. He'll even do the same for other people.
But if that’s all God is for you, then love will never be real.
The gospel says that God has poured out more wrath on Jesus than you could ever imagine and he has raised Jesus up to a higher glory and honor than you could ever imagine. Your anger is nothing compared to the anger that Jesus has already endured. Whatever amount of anger you have for anything in this life he already has absorbed in himself.
If you see Jesus Christ taking the wrath and rage at infinite cost to himself, then you see the ultimate strike to deal with all the abuse, the lieing, and the cheating in life. He loved sinners and hated the sin. Now he is a Lord and King with more power, glory, and honor then you can ever imagine. If you are melted by the knowledge, stunned into silence by how he responded to our anger, then when other people wrong you, you can do the same. You can say, “Hey, I’ve been wronged, but I wronged God, and at infinite cost, he changed my anger to the deepest love.”
Anger can be okay, but beware its source and results. Let’s have courage to confront.
Action
Can we do this together?
Let’s recognize wrath and we’ll gain the courage to confront
I have had my own problems with anger. I’m not sure...I’ve heard a few younger guys say, “I don’t get angry that often and I’m glad for it.” I think most younger guys are angry a lot.
Anger can be okay, but beware its source and results. Let’s have courage to confront.
Proverbs 10:9-21
Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,
but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.
10 Whoever winks maliciously causes grief,
and a chattering fool comes to ruin.
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,
but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
12 Hatred stirs up conflict,
but love covers over all wrongs.
13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,
but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense.
14 The wise store up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.
15 The wealth of the rich is their fortified city,
but poverty is the ruin of the poor.
16 The wages of the righteous is life,
but the earnings of the wicked are sin and death.
17 Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.
18 Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips
and spreads slander is a fool.
19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
but the prudent hold their tongues.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver,
but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
21 The lips of the righteous nourish many,
but fools die for lack of sense.
Listening guide
Get a little more integrity
Everyone lives with a deep conflict between what we profess and practice.
“a chattering fool comes to ruin”
“The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value”
“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life” (10:11)
“The lips of the righteous nourish many” (10:21)
Whole lives mean we profess and practice the same thing.
Sermon
I planted a hydrangea for my wife with my kids this mother’s day.
For years, I’ve resisted. My wife would say things like, “I’d like a hydrangea. Can we get a hydrangea? Wouldn’t a hydrangea be nice?” I’d say, no. I’d say, they look nice but they’re a huge mess. The bring bees. And then this year I said, yes, let’s get one.
I’m trying to get better at saying, “Let me think about it. Give me some time.”
What I love is saying, “Yes, let’s do it” and then do it right away. The kids say, can we have ice cream. Let’s do it! Excitement everywhere. “Can you pray for us?” Sure. “Got some time to talk?” Get to listen well, see the pleasure and delight.
Adventure
That’s the promise today. If you and I live with integrity, we’ll bring delight to the people around us.Proverbs opens today saying, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely”. Integrity does so many things for your life – joy, excitement, celebration, security.
We’ve said, let’s accept correction and experience delight. We’ve said, Be humble and you’ll get more than you deserve. People who give freely have security.
Let me help you do those things. Brene Brown says that integrity is “you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.” Let’s do that.
Discover
We way underestimate the challenge of saying what we want and then doing it. Sometimes we have to say things like “Just tell the truth”, “be honest”, or “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” I think what we all experience is so much harder. Jesus gives us this example of two sons.
When you read these two sons (change slide), you’ve got to put aside “right”. Jesus tells us of a dad and his two sons. He asks the first to go to work. He says no and later goes. The other says yes and then doesn’t go. Jesus praises the first. I think most of us say, “wait, what about the third”.
We imagine the third son, the ideal son. The one who says, “yes dad, I’d love to chop down that tree for you and then I’ll log it, then split the logs and stack them right there next to the fireplace.” Okay that doesn’t happen anymore. More likely, yes dad, I’ll actually make sure the bathroom light is turned off when I leave it. But that’s not Jesus’ point.
Jesus is saying, you’re right, there should be an ideal son. There should be a perfect son who always does the right thing. We’ll get to that later. He is saying, let me tell you the two ways you can mess integrity up.
The first way, the first son, he tells dad “no”. This is a picture of irreligion. We say, “let me do what I want to do. You can’t tell me what to do with my life.” While we might say this to friends or family or a boss, Jesus is pointing out, look, ultimately, everyone of us says no to God an awful lot. We do it all the time in our lives. That’s not Jesus main concern though, is it?
That's the crazy thing! The second way to fail integrity, the second son, he tells his dad “yes” but then he doesn’t do it. He doesn’t follow through. This is a picture of religiosity or legalism. It’s saying, I just want to make you happy. If I agree to what you say, will that make you happy God? Will you accept me God?I'm going to say yes and give it my best effort, how does that sound?
This is the kind of thing religious people do all the time. Jesus is not so concerned with fixing everyone else. He is saying, do you have your stuff together? Can I give us an example?
One of the things that bugged Martin Luther was all the statues and relics in the churches of the 1500s. Relics were items supposedly left over from religious heroes long dead, like slivers of the cross. He told people, why do you hold on to these things? Why do you revere and adore them? They don’t rescue you.
What he never said was, destroy it all. Destroy the relics, destroy the statues, and destroy the churches. He never told people to get rid of the public buildings or damage the items that weren’t theirs in anyway. When someone else started telling people to do that, he left hiding and preached some of his most famous sermons. He said, “[if one] forces the issue, it follows that those blaspheme who do not understand and who act only because of the coercion of the law and not with a free conscience. Their idea that they can please God with works becomes a real idol and a false assurance in the heart. Such legalism results in putting away outward images while filling the heart with idols." (Martin Luther, Luther’s Works, Vol. 40: Church and Ministry II, ed. Jaroslav Jan Pelikan, Hilton C. Oswald, and Helmut T. Lehmann, vol. 40 (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1999), 84–85.)
Luther was convinced that people couldn’t be compelled to get rid of the relics and the churches. That was like saying to them, “say yes!” “You’ve got to say yes! And then we’re going to make you do it. That’s the only way God will be happy.
The problem is much worse than we imagine. I think so many of us say, if I just learn to say no to things, then I’ll actually be able to do what I say I want to do. That is something we should say. We need to practice that. That barely gets at the problem.
Or we say, if I just get more organized and figure out what tasks are really important to me, then I’ll be able to follow up. That’s good. Do that. That only gets started too. The problem is worse than we imagine. Let me share this illustration.
I've got here some vegetable oil and water. I think it’s pretty common knowledge. If I try to mix these two together, what happens? Will they mix together? No, they won’t. Like this.
Here is the thing. Everyone lives with a deep conflict between what we profess and practice. That’s our first take away today. Even the people who have the most integrated, the most put together lives. They live with a deep conflict.
Proverbs has two great proverbs for it:
Twice in these verses he says, “a chattering fool comes to ruin”. That means the problem is someone’s mouth. So we start to think, the problem is what we say. We just need to shut up.
But then he goes “Proverbs 10:19 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. What’s the problem? It's not just the tongue of the foolish person. It’s the heart. Remember in the ancient world, the heart is not what you feel. It’s who you are.
It’s true that everything comes from who you are. It’s also true that your tongue has incredible power to direct you. Our identity and our mouths drive a conflict. Everyone lives with a deep conflict between what we profess and practice. And I would suggest to you, that there is only one thing to do.
We need to add something to make them make mix. Oil and water only mix if I add something. Common ones are milk or soap. Yes, I know, there is some really cool science now that breaks down oil into such tiny particles that it can actually mix, but that is kind of beside the point. Normal people, we need to add something.
There are a couple of neat proverbs that show us what we need to add. For example,
“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life” (10:11)
“The lips of the righteous nourish many” (10:21)
Proverbs points out, we need a mouth that brings life. We need lips that nourish. I bet you, like me, know some people who have nourished you. But ultimately, not many. Most people don’t make me say, “hooray”! Most people don’t make me celebrate. Most people can’t hug me after a bad and really convince me that it will be okay.
I would put to you that ultimately, this is Jesus. I don’t think you’ll find anyone else who could say, “this is what I promise you I will do” and actually did it. Even the people alive with Jesus noted his integrity.They noted his ability to bring life to other people. The religious teachers one time said, “teacher we know that you are a man of integrity and teach the way of God in accordance with the truth”. How did he do so well keeping his professing and practicing together?
The basis of his claim is that he is both God and man. He is fully God and fully man. He was never mixed up about it. It’s not like he was random oil particles floating around in water. He didn’t have a God finger her and a man toe there. There was nothing mixed up about Jesus.
That means, when you say, “I believe in Jesus as my Savior and Lord”, you are finally taking something into your life that has its act together. You profess anything else, you practice anything else. I guarantee you that at some point in your life, where you are going to have to deal with conflict. Not just out there, but inside yourself. But do you know what you get with Jesus?
You get the one guy who could resolve the conflict. Who could bring two things that don’t go together,together. You got the one guy in the world who could bring truth and love together. He is the one guy who could say, Sin deserves death. Sin must be punished. God hates sin and the sinful people who carry it around. He wants nothing more than to drive it from himself. At the same time he could say, God loves the world. God loves real people. God loves this world he has made. He wants nothing more than to be with this world.
Look at this. Look at what Jesus does on the cross. The cross means God’s law cannot be broken. God’s holiness and righteousness have to be satisfied. He must keep his word. At the same time the cross means we are pardoned. We are forgiven despite our sins. We are embraced and accepted.
The moment Jesus died, it’s not just God’s truth or God’s love were satisfied. At that moment, both the truth and the love of God were totally and completely satisfied.
The cross brought them together. I know that sometimes they seem to be in conflict. “But if I tell the truth, I don’t know if that’s loving, or if I really …” In other words, they seem to be in conflict, they but heads, but they aren’t, and when the cross comes into the center of your life, they won’t be, either.
One of the best examples of this, its also one of the worst examples of breaking integrity in the Bible. I was reminded of this during my devotions the other day. After Jesus ascended, the Christians began to integrate the uncircumcised Gentiles into the Christian church. They had always accepted the converts who got circumcised, but there was an event with a man named Cornelius. Then they began to welcome the uncircumcised.
This is how Peter lived. Peter was one of the most important followers of Jesus. Definitely a guy showing people the way. He welcomed the uncircumcised Gentiles and ate with them. One day some visitors came. Peter was concerned they wouldn’t accept him. He felt the conflict. And he stopped eating with the Gentiles.
Finally the apostle Paul came. Basically he said, “What are you doing? Faith in Jesus Christ saves, not doing the right thing.” Then he went on to say, “if you find yourself with the people who say “no” to keeping all of God’s law, you’re not breaking God’s law. All you’re doing is proving that truth and love are satisfied in Jesus.” And Peter changed.
Whole lives. Whole lives mean we can profess and practice the same thing. That’s what you and I get with the cross. Whole lives.
Action
Let’s do this. Get a whole live so you can profess and practice the same thing.
Grab a card. Write it down. Add it to your Bible or your study book.
Whole lives mean we profess and practice the same thing. That's wisdom for a good life.
Proverbs 11:24-26
24 One person gives freely, yet gains even more;
another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.
25 A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
26 People curse the one who hoards grain,
but they pray God’s blessing on the one who is willing to sell.
Listening guide
We can gain more security.
There are really no _____________ that lead to _______________.
“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” (10:4)
He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.” (10:5)
“The wages of the righteous is life, but the earnings of the wicked are sin and death.” (10:16)
“The blessing of the Lord brings wealth,” (10:22)
“Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death” (11:4)
We can’t see our own _____________
Only people who ________ ____________ have security. .
Discussion questions
Sermon
I’m a budgeter
Budgeter = a person who budgets (excessively?) I’ve got my little budgeting app “YNAB” and I look at it, sometimes multiple times per day!
That financial concerned only increased with COVID.
I panicked about the financial situation at the beginning of COVID, for my family and the church.
Like many of us, our family has lost some income during the pandemic and you start to wonder what effect that will have.
What I want.... what I want is what I see in the Bible. I want a sense of security apart from savings. Like these examples....
The Bible tells us this example of a poor widow. She has only 2 small copper coins. She didn’t worry. She was secure, even though she was financially unstable.
There was a man who had something of a similar story. Hudson Taylor. He was a missionary to China for some years. He had one coin left to his name at one point. He gave that coin to a poor woman, and he says that as he prayed, was released by God and felt great freedom and blessing.
Adventure
That’s the promise today. Finances right now can be pretty hairy.
That’s been wonderful for me, to gain a sense of security apart from our savings. A sense of security that has nothing to do with my financial stability. That is something I am slowly gaining. The next piece of the good life that Proverbs lays out for us.
We’re looking today especially at Proverbs 11:24-26.
The thing is, the Bible is full of instructions on money. It’s anything but easy. I’ve had some people say things like, just do whatever the Bible says and you’ll be okay. I listened to a couple of teachings on Proverbs and money and people had to list between ten and fifteen principles to cover most of it. If you are looking to the Bible to figure out financial security, that is not easy. Let me give us an example. Take today’s lesson from Jesus.
Development
The owner of a vineyard sends workers into the vineyard. He isn’t choosy about the workers who were ready at 8 am verses the workers who didn’t get out of bed and to work until 2. He sends them all into his vineyard to work.
At the end of the day, he pays all the workers the same amount of money. He gives them a day’s wage. It’s a fair wage. The surprise is, they all get the same. What is the message of this parable?
Part of it is, if you tell people you’re going to pay them a certain amount, pay that amount. Be honest with your money. Don’t cheat people. Don’t take advantage of them. Pay them for their work. But what about the people who only worked a little? Jesus pays them the full amount too.
We see even more. God wants us to prosper, to flourish, to do well. He wants us to do well. Even if we don’t deserve it. It’s not so much that he wants us to be rich, but he wants humans to flourish. This is what is so complicated about money in the Bible.
See, my YNAB system has 4 simple rules: Every dollar has a job. Embrace your true expenses. Roll with the punches. And 4, age your money. If you can follow those 4 rules, you’ll do okay with your money. What it can never do, it can never teach you what you should do with your money. Or take Dave Ramsay. He has 7 baby steps. I’m not going to list them all here. If you use those rules, you’ll do okay with your money. What they can never do, they’ll never teach you those should be the rules.
Why does the Bible make it so hard then? What is the Bible doing? Why can’t God give us 4 simple rules, or 7 baby steps?
This is the first thing we learn today. There are really no rules that lead to security. You will never have security if you just try to follow the rules to prosperity.
I feel like I’m living proof of that. Because I’m a budgeter. I use my system pretty well. And we are fine. I’m thankful we have no debt. Remember, we have the advantage right now of not buying a house. But I don’t know if that has given me any more security. I still check my app a couple of times per day. I still think about my finances – a lot. Am I worried? I don’t know, I don’t think. Am I secure? That would be a stretch.
Just because I say that, there are no rules that lead to security. What Proverbs does do, it describes the path to security more clearly than anyone else. Proverbs says some simple things like,
“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” (10:4)
He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.” (10:5)
“The wages of the righteous is life, but the earnings of the wicked are sin and death.” (10:16)
There are many times the book of Proverbs connects hard work, ingenuity, insight, creativity, self-control, and discipline with prospering, prospering materially, prospering economically. There are lots and lots of statements in that regard. But there are plenty of times where Proverbs says something different about security.
“The blessing of the Lord brings wealth,” (10:22)
“Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death” (11:4)
You know what the Bible is doing when it says all this about money?
You read all this and you start to realize, you know, I thought the Bible was mostly about hard work, about being a good person.
The Bible says so much about the fact that I don’t control my security. I don’t control my flourishing, my prosperity, and my well being.
If we can’t control our sense of security, our sense of safety, our sense of well being; what does it mean that we keep obsessing about it? What does it mean that its such a constant repetition in our life?
Point: We can’t see our own greed.
One of the strongest examples of this, it’s
Andrew Carnegie started the company that one day became US Steel. At the age of thirty three, he took a ruthless evaluation of his own heart and produced a little “note to self”. He wrote,
“Man must have an idol. The amassing of wealth is one of the worst species of idolatry. No idol more debasing than the worship of money. Whatever I engage in I must push inordinately therefore should I be careful to choose the life which be the most elevating in character. To continue much longer overwhelmed by business cares and with most of my thoughts wholly upon the way to make more money in the shortest time must degrade me beyond hope of permanent recovery. I will resign business at thirty five, but during the ensuing two years I wish to spend the afternoons in securing instruction.” (Carnegie quoted in Tim Keller, Counterfeit Gods, pg 69)
Here is the problem for Carnegie. Even though he realized this about himself, nothing changed! He did not resign business two years later. He brought many of the very character degrading effects right into his life. Steel workers worked 12 hour shifts on floors so hot they put wood on their shoes. They had filthy housing. Most died in their 40 from accidents and disease. They got one day off every two weeks.
You hear what the Bible says about money and prosperity, it’s way too complicated for you to untangle on your own. You are never going to get this all unwrapped on your own.
We can’t see our own greed.
I’ve got to say, if you’re an American, you’re most likely in denial about this. I hate to say this. People honestly don’t confess a lot of sins to me. We don’t like to confess our sins. We keep them to ourselves. The one sin I don't think anyone has ever confessed? Greed.
Americans are always saying stuff like this: “I hardly have enough to live. I hardly can make ends meet. I can’t possibly live any more simply than I’m living. I really don’t have that much money to give away. I really need all this stuff.” The rest of the world knows better. They look at the level of how we live and they say, “Are you kidding?”
What’s the mark of being an addict? The mark of being addicted to money is that you confuse needs and wants. Everything you want, you think is a need. What you think you need to live is so far beyond what you really need to live that you feel like all your money is tied up and you ca...
We are addicts. Americans are always saying, “I can’t give away any more. I couldn’t possibly give any more away this year. I can hardly make ends meet. I couldn’t possibly live with anything else.
The only way you are going to achieve real security
24 One person gives freely, yet gains even more;
another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.
25 A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
26 People curse the one who hoards grain,
but they pray God’s blessing on the one who is willing to sell.
Did you hear this? “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.”
That is a paradox. It’s supposed to be a paradox. It’s saying the person who tries to increase, decreases, and the person who’s willing to decrease, increases. Giving gains more, spending secures; but hoarding loses, saving wastes.
How can that be?
The words we’ve got translated as “give freely”, if you wanted to translate real strictly they could be “scatter”. Some translations have the word scatter. They say, “There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty.”
How can this be? We should ask the farmers.
Right? In fact, this word scatter is taken from agriculture. In farming, you scatter your seed, and the more you scatter, the more you gather. The more you sow, the more you reap. If you would hold on to your seed and say, “Oh no, I can’t spare any seed,” you’ll starve. But if you’re willing to scatter your seed and give it all away, you’ll gather.
By the way, when you gather, it comes back in a better form. You probably can’t sit there and eat the seed (it depends on the seed, I know), but in general, it comes back in a better form. Now here’s what the book of Proverbs is saying. You are an addict to money. Unless you are willing to throw your money on the ground so it all dies, you’ll never have security.
Do you know what makes this so powerful? So true?
There is a verse in John where Jesus says, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
You notice what Jesus says there. He says the kernel has to fall to the ground and die. He doesn’t say, prosperity and plenty and flourishing come when you work really hard. He doesn’t try to change their behavior. He doesn’t even try to get the people to think differently.
He says, look, when a seed dies, that is when prosperity and flourishing and security come for all.
Do you know what he’s saying? He’s saying, “Let me show you the ultimate gathering and scattering. Jesus Christ on the cross was literally broken to pieces.” You know, when they flogged him, those 39 lashes had little pieces of metal and bone on the end of the whip, so he was literally being torn to pieces. On the cross he was broken to bits. On the cross he was distributed. On the cross he was scattered. Why? To gather us.
The cross as the ultimate scattering to gather, the ultimate act of generosity, the ultimate place of wealth distribution, the ultimate place of becoming poor in order to get real riches, the ultimate place of a seed dieing so that there is life and flourishing… When you die with him, the power of money, it will just shatter.
Here’s the reason why. The cross, the ultimate act of generosity, is your ultimate security. Right? Do you believe in the cross? If you believe in the cross, then you know God cares for you, and that’s a security money can’t give you.
Why would Jesus Christ have given up heaven? Why would Jesus Christ have given up his glory? Why would Jesus Christ have given up all the treasure he had? Because you and I were more valuable to him than that. If Jesus Christ valued us like that, there’s a significance money can never give you. When you are melted by that generosity, when that becomes your significance and security, you will be free from the power of money.
Or I’ll put it this way. Whatever you treasure in your life, it will drive you. It will control you. You will feel like, “I have to have it.” It will demand that you die for it. But Jesus Christ is the only treasure that died for you, died to get you, so that you can rise with me. He will rearrange what you want and love in life.
He will turn your money into real wealth. When you give it to the poor, you’ll see their lives being repaired. When you give it to ministry, you’ll see people literally changing forever, getting joy forever. Then you’ll finally have the wealth. But you don’t do it in order to get wealthy. You don’t do it to feel better about yourself.
Only people who give freely have security.
Action
Can you do this with me? Only people who give freely have security.
One of the starkest examples of this, I got this from someone else. During the 2008-2009 crash, many people lost millions. There is story after story of people who killed themselves because they were so overcome by despair. One man named Bill had a different experience.
About three years before he had become a Christian. His ultimate security shifted to Jesus. He said, “If this economic meltdown had happened more than three years ago, well, I don’t know how I could have faced it, how I would have even kept going. Today I can tell you honestly, I’ve never been happier in my life.”
That’s how it goes when the one who scattered himself for you is your ultimate security.
People who give freely have security.
Proverbs 3:34
He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.
Listening guide
“What is Luther? The teaching is not mine. Nor was I crucified for anyone … How did I, poor stinking bag of maggots that I am, come to the point where people call the children of Christ by my evil name? … I simply taught, preached, wrote God’s Word; otherwise I did nothing. And while I slept, or drank Wittenberg beer with my friends Philip and Amsdorf, the Word so greatly weakened the papacy that no prince or emperor ever inflicted such losses upon it. I did nothing; the Word did everything.” (Martin Luther)
the unmerciful servant
First, be _____________
be humble and get so much more than we ________________.
Discussion questions
Sermon
There was a season in my life
Work things weren’t going well
Wasn’t building new relationships, I was losing relationships
Family struggles
Productivity
When things didn’t work out in my life, I asked a friend, mentor and advisor to help me think through some of the questions. I said, what am I doing that is making this so hard
Am I depressed?
What is it about my personality?
What about my family background,
These questions plagued for a few months. Eventually, He said, why are you thinking about yourself so much?
About the same time someone much closer to me said, “You could use a boatload of humility”
I’m still trying to figure out how right he was - . There are plenty of situations in which I am the problem. I am at least a significant part of the problem.
He is right that thinking of yourself less and others more, that is incredibly powerful, life transforming. As far as a humble person CS Lewis made it real easy when he said, a humble person is “a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him”. When I think of people who have modeled humility, they have done incredible things.
Martin Luther. Martin was told one time that people were calling themselves Lutherans. He said, people should call themselves Christians. Because he said,
“What is Luther? The teaching is not mine. Nor was I crucified for anyone … How did I, poor stinking bag of maggots that I am, come to the point where people call the children of Christ by my evil name? … I simply taught, preached, wrote God’s Word; otherwise I did nothing. And while I slept, or drank Wittenberg beer with my friends Philip and Amsdorf, the Word so greatly weakened the papacy that no prince or emperor ever inflicted such losses upon it. I did nothing; the Word did everything.”
That’s the thing, that humility does great things.
And I’m not sure if I’m great yet, but I’m discovering how much greater humility is
Al L
Around Peace partners in ministry and prayer, encouragers.
Michael E
The promise: We can be great with humility
Development
First, you have to have humility.
For the most part that isn’t a big deal. For example, in 1726 Benjamin Franklin realized his own moral imperfection. So he made a list of 12 virtues that he needed to pursue for good character. He made the mistake of giving it to a friend to review. His friend realized that Benjamin was quick to put other people down, quick to criticize, and short tempered. He told Benjamin to add a 13th virtue to the list – humility.
But Jesus, the Bible does a really good job of showing us that we need humility. Jesus tells this story of the unmerciful servant, in part, to show us that we need humility.
Here are the highlights again:
A man owes his king an unmeasurable amount of money
The man begs for mercy
The king forgives the debt
The man finds someone who owed him a small amount of money
He throws the man in jail until it is paid.
He is making a comparison for us here.
The irreligious. You can’t control the gods. They’re fickle and wild. You have no idea what they will do for you at any moment. They may do good. They may do evil.
So the principle becomes, it doesn’t matter what you do, you won’t get what you deserve.
The religious world is very different. Religiosity says, these are the things to do to make God happy. Tithe. Sacrifice. Pray. Attend synagogue or church or mosque. Follow the rules and the commandments.
The rule is, if you do good God will love you and accept you, you’ll get what you deserve.
Only the gospel says this. God loves me and accepts me, so he will give me what I don’t deserve.
This is what our main proverb for today says, “God mocks the mocker but gives grace to the humble.”
This is one of the great paradoxes
Do you want life entirely at chance? Then ignore all the rules. All the wisdom. All the commands. Maybe life will be good, maybe it won’t be.
Do you want to get what you deserve? Then keep the rules. Play by the rules. Say to God, I tithe. I got married and then I had sex. I go to church most of the time. I use my money responsibly. I don’t drink too much. Say to God, I follow the rules, give me what I deserve.
And maybe life will be good. Maybe it won’t.
But do you want to get way more than what you deserve? Do you want more than you could ever ask for or imagine?
Then be humble. Let me show how that happens.
Proverbs says, “He mocks proud mockers
but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.”
Let’s start here. Pride is not about what you have. Unhealthy evil pride is about what you have in relation to what someone else has.
And yet what is the Bible full of? God’s history is full of story after story where God says to the strong, the proud, and the ones on top, I’m putting you down and I'm going to lift up the humble and the lowly.
In all ancient cultures, the oldest son gets all the power, and yet, at every generation, God works with the younger son. It’s Abel over Cain. It’s Isaac over Ishmael. It’s Jacob over Esau. It’s Moses over Aaron. Over and over and over again, God does that. Deliberately, obviously, to completely turn upside down the world’s understanding of greatness and power.
In all ancient cultures and in modern cultures, the beautiful women get the powerful men, and yet, at every place, God works with Sarah over Hagar, works with Leah over Rachel, works with Tamar, works with Rahab, the prostitute, works with Hannah, the barren woman. In every single spot, God always works with the barren woman, the unwanted woman.
God only works through the girl nobody wanted and the boy everybody has forgotten, in every generation. Why does he do that? Is it just God just has a sense of poetic justice? Or is there more here
When this God, who had self-giving love at his very heart, came into the world, he came into the world as a poor man. He was born in a manger. He was born in a feed trough. He didn’t come to the Van Andel Center. He didn’t come to Times Square. He was born in a feed trough in an unimportant colony in the Roman Empire. A manger. See, that’s the God who’s the real God, who does things in a completely different way. If you want to find God, as the Christmas carol says …
Seek not in courts or palaces,
Nor royal curtains draw;
But search the stable, see your God
Extended on the straw.
So he comes, and he’s born in a feed trough; he’s born into a poor family. He grows up as just a homeless person, basically, and in the end, he’s betrayed or denied or deserted by everybody, and he dies an ignominious death. Is that the way to win the world?
You have goals, you have strategies. You have vision. Is that the way to conquer the world?
Let's imagine someone said, “I have a goal. My long-term goal is 2,000 years from now I’d like to be the most influential and famous person who ever lived. I would like a third of all the people in the world to worship me and build their whole life around me. I would like to have many, many major civilizations completely built on my teachings.” Okay. That’s a very worthy goal.
If that was your goal, what would your strategy be? How would you get there? How would you go about it? Would you do it the way Jesus did it? Not on your life. Would you be born in obscurity? Would you studiously avoid ever getting involved in any of the powerful political or economic or academic networks? Would you studiously avoid all that? Would you be killed tragically, when your life wasn’t even half over yet? Would you think that’s the way to become the most influential and powerful and life-changing person in the history of the world?
No. But that’s how Jesus did it, and he makes foolish the wisdom of the world. The glory of God is to choose the lowly and humble
Jesus Christ came and lived the life you were too weak to live and died the death you were unwilling to admit you needed to die. He came to live the life you should have lived and die the death you should have died. He came to take your punishment. He came to be your substitute. He came to do it all for you. It was a glory that could only be achieved through humility. He came in weakness so that …
This is why the message is so good. It’s actually for everybody. It’s not just for the strong and smart. The message is it doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done … It doesn’t matter whether you’ve murdered people. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve so abused yourself that your mind hardly works anymore.
If you believe Jesus Christ has done all this for you and if you say, “Father, receive me and accept me, not because of what I have done, but because of what Jesus has done,” at that moment, in Christ, God looks at you (this is the gospel) and values you above all the gold and silver and jewels that lie beneath the earth.
How do you get that kind of unconditional glory and regard, that kind of impervious glory and regard, that’s not based on your performance at all?
be humble and get so much more than we deserved.
Action
So let's do this. Let’s be humble and get so much more than we deserved.
Humility doesn’t mean you become small, little, and insignificant. That we actually try to become nothing. It means we know who we are. It is the great people in life who practice humility. For me, Michael E. Large, thriving business.
This is not going to be easy to do. This is like if someone handed you a Christmas present, you unwrapped it and inside you found finger nail clippers. I would be ecstatic. I love finger nail clippers and they’re always disappearing around my house.
If you and I take this gift of God’s gospel, what are we saying about ourselves? (example of some gift) We’re saying, I’m only beginning to realize how bad I am. I’m only beginning to realize how much help I need.
If we’re humble we’ll get so much more than we deserved.
Proverbs 3:1-3, 11-12
3 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.
11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.[b]
Listening guide
Proverbs 3:1-2 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.
One piece of character to master among the wrong turns and false starts _____________
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, (verse 11)
Solomon ….
John Newton “It will always be a subject of humiliating reflection to me, that I was once an active instrument in a business at which my heart now shudders.”
We must accept _______________________
12 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Accept correction and experience delight.
Discussion questions
No questions available for this message. Please join our group studying politics.
Sermon
In our smaller Bible studies right now, we’re discussing the government and politics. I know, right?
I don’t have much great insight. This is one that struck me. What do you think?
“The Bible binds my conscience to care for the poor, but it does not tell me the best practical way to do it. Any particular strategy may be good and wise—and may even be somewhat inferred from other things the Bible teaches-- but they are not directly commanded and therefore we cannot insist that all Christians, as a matter of conscience, follow one or the other. The Bible binds my conscience to love the immigrant, but it doesn’t tell me how many legal immigrants to admit to the U.S. every year. It does not exactly prescribe immigration policy. The Bible tells me abortion is a great evil, but it doesn’t tell me the best way to decrease or end abortion in this country, nor which policies are most effective [to preserve life]. The current political parties offer a potpourri of different positions on these and many, many other topics, most of which, as just noted, the Bible does not speak to directly. This means when it comes to taking political positions, voting, determining alliances and political involvement, the Christian has liberty of conscience. Christians cannot say to other Christians “no Christian can vote for…” or “every Christian must vote for…” unless you can find a Biblical command to that effect.”
What do you think? To me, this is a pretty good example of putting into practice what we learned last week. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Proverbs 1:7) Only when we have a positive fear of God, will we have better thoughts on riots, protests, individuals killed at the hands of law enforcement, law enforcement killed at the hands of private citizens, job loss, the passing of many grandparents, and babies and infants we have lost.
You know what wisdom can do for us? Take a quick look at Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.
Look what Solomon says you can have. You can have long life. Peace. Prosperity. This is the good life. Who doesn’t want peace? Who doesn’t want prosperity?
Wisdom is what you use in the 80% of decisions of life when there are no rules.
Solomon argues, peace and prosperity does not come from hard work, although that is mentioned in other places. It doesn’t come from marriage, although there is definitely a correlation there. It doesn’t come from education or skills, although they matter. It doesn’t even come from your personality. Your charisma. Your winsomeness. Where does it come from?
Your heart. “with all your heart”. In two verses he says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you”. Where does this peace and prosperity flow out of? Wise choices don’t come from our heads, they come from our hearts. That doesn’t seem to make much sense. Remember in the Bible your heart is everything you are.
It’s your convictions, your emotions, and your thoughts. When they make wise choices together – not just a head thing, not just a gut thing, not just an emotional thing – together – that leads to peace and prosperity.
That’s the promise today. I don’t know if you think I have a good life or not. I think I do. It doesn’t come from the hard work, although that’s important. It doesn’t come from marriage, although that’s part of it. It doesn’t come from education and skill. It doesn’t come from my shining personality.
I’ve made many wrong turns and false starts along the way. I still do. There is one piece of character God would have us master. That’s here in Proverbs 3.
Development
What is it? Verse 11
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
Woah, did you hear that. Talk about tough, huh. Can I share some other verses that say the same?
· Proverbs 10:17 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."
· Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.
· Proverbs 13:18 “Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.”
There are many other verses in Proverbs that tell us to accept correction.
Can you believe this? Solomon says, this is what you do to have peace and prosperity. Do this and you’ll win favor. Do this and you’ll get health. Oh, and by the way, what is the secret to it all?
Bad stuff happens. Bad things happen to everyone. Take it as discipline. Accept correction.
That’s tough. A lot of us would like to believe that if we’re good enough, we will have it good our entire lives. Good people get good lives. But this is basic wisdom.
You can be good, decent, charitable, honest, hard working, and bad stuff will still happen to you. People will tell you you are wrong. Take it all as discipline.
You know how hard you think this is? It was not easy for Solomon. Solomon had hundreds perhaps thousands of affairs in his life. I have no idea how many times he was corrected about them. All I know is the consequence. After he died, his kingdom was split into parts and never – not in the 2900 years of history since, has it been put back together.
See, Solomon faced a huge hurdle. In the ancient world, you listened to people because of their family of origin. Here is one example from the ancient world. One time Jesus taught in the synagogue. He was acting like a teacher. Some people who heard what he said were amazed. A lot of them said, “Isn’t this Mary’s son? Aren’t these his brothers and sisters?” (Mark 6) They were offended by him. It was his family that turned them off. It didn’t matter how good a teacher he was.
Solomon was the best family in the world. The wisest. The richest. Everyone knew it. Who was he going to listen to?
For us, it’s easy to say, I would never ignore discipline? I wouldn’t ignore correction.
Do we? When I was looking to buy a house, I looked for a realtor. I didn’t use a car salesman. When I need to get my car fixed, I talk to a mechanic, not a dentist. I don’t usually care what family they’re from. I don’t care who their brothers and sisters are. I listen to people because of their skills and abilities. I was just talking to a friend the other day (BS) who said, my boss doesn’t let handle the hiring or the strategic planning or the financials. He says I don’t have those skills and abilities
For us, we don’t ignore people because of their family. We ignore people because of their skills and abilities.
I don’t like correction. I don’t like being wrong. I don’t like apologizing for stuff that is only sort of kind of like wrong but not really wrong.
But you know, John Newton. You know him? He wrote this hymn, I think it might catch on. It’s called Amazing Grace. Have you heard that one? Good.
Newton is remarkable because he had been a slave trader, but eventually rejected the slave trade. In 1788, he published some comments saying, “It will always be a subject of humiliating reflection to me, that I was once an active instrument in a business at which my heart now shudders.”
Here is the thing. His conversion began in 1748 when he was almost lost in a storm. He prayed for deliverance and was saved. A few years later, he almost died from a fever. It took almost 40 years for John Newton to change regarding slavery. Newton himself said, it took a long time of “correction”.
In 1807, nearly blind and dead, the act to abolish the slave trade became law. Newton “rejoiced to hear the wonderful news”.
Point: We must receive correction.
Action
Let’s do this. Let’s accept correction and experience peace and prosperity together. Let me give you the strength so we can do this. Solomon goes on to say,
12 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
Do you see what this is?
There are some ways of living that say, suffering is nothing. For example, some would say the death of an infant isn’t really suffering. They’ll say, well, there was something wrong with it and it would have lived a painful hard life. It’s better this way. I know most people who hold to survival of the fittest don’t think that, so I’m not saying you do. But that’s one thought.
Others say, suffering isn’t really there. It’s just in your mind. You have to detach from it. That’s basically the same thing. Suffering is nothing.
On the other end, some people say, everything is suffering. Life is so terrible. I’m just miserable and my life is falling apart.
That’s not it either.
Not God. God says, yup, you’re suffering. It’s awful. I delight in you.
Frankly, you don’t really learn to trust God till you’re drowning. You don’t really come to see Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have. When you realize this, it’s not till you suffer that you really end up knowing God in prayer, that you really end up trusting God instead of the things you used to trust which have now blown up on you.
It’s only through suffering that you really get into the Word of God and you really get into community. We very often just go off on our own. We’re our own person, and we really don’t rely on other people till what happens? What happens is suffering comes in, and then in it comes. Suddenly, we need people. We always did.
The key is to believe God delights in you when it happens. the son he delights in.
When Jesus got baptized, God said about him, “You’re my son in whom I delight.”
It says in John 1:12, “For those who received him, who believed on his name, he gave authority to become children of God.” We’re adopted. We’re brought in. His losing his sonship so we could become children of God, his losing that so … It says in Romans 8:16, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God …”
What does that mean? It means because Jesus died on the cross and took our punishment we can know now he is pleased with us. Sometimes the Spirit comes in and says, “You are my beloved child in whom I am well-pleased.” That will renarrate your world. If you put anything in that story, it’ll turn to gold.
What do you know if you see the cross? You know without a doubt that God loves you and delights in you. He wants nothing more in the universe than to come into our ugly sinful mess and deal with it himself.
If he suffered like that, and he did. And if he was corrected like that, and he was. What do I know for sure when I’m corrected? That he is glad about me.
Accept correction and experience delight. Put that on your card for the week, put it on our wall here and at home. See if that won’t give you a little more good life.
Proverbs 1:1-7
1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:
2 for gaining wisdom and instruction;
for understanding words of insight;
3 for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,
doing what is right and just and fair;
4 for giving prudence to those who are simple,[a]
knowledge and discretion to the young—
5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—
6 for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.[b]
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools[c] despise wisdom and instruction.
Listening guide
Discussion questions
Sermon
What is your favorite piece of wisdom or insight that you would want to give someone else?
I’ve gotten some pretty good ones over the years.
· Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting ____________________________.
· Imitation is the highest form of ______.
· A bird in the hand ______________________
· Men are from mars, ______________________
· Men are from earth, women are from earth. Get over it.
· Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer.
The Bible includes much of this kind of wisdom. You can find it in the books of Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and a little bit in the others.
“Pointed precepts for practical prudence”. “Counsels from above for conduct below.” Wisdom is not only knowledge, but action.
Simple example of wisdom. My 1 year old keeps trying to get at the oven when we bake things. He’s curious. I don’t blame him. If he touched the hot oven, I don’t call him a fool and think he needs wisdom.
Why not? He is out of touch with the realities of life. He doesn’t know about heat. But he is 1. He shouldn’t know. He doesn’t need to know.
But the other day, [Sharon Tyler – shows up early, takes step to help out her family]
Wisdom = competence with regard to the realities of life. Competence with regard to how life really works.
I don’t think we think much of biblical wisdom.
Some of them are questionable
· “Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper.” (Proverbs 23:31) How many of you have a glass of wine? Unless you’re drinking a really powerful merlot does it bite you like a snake?
· “What you have seen with your eyes, do not bring hastily to court, for what will you do in the end if your neighbors puts you to shame?”
o Kids in school – speak up
o Airports – speak up
o Neighbors – speak up
· “Better the poor whose walk is blameless than the rich whose ways are perverse.” (Proverbs 28:6)
· “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)
Ultimately, it’s because people don’t come to me and say, pastor, I have this decision to make in my life. I’m trying to decide if I should date this girl. I’m trying to decide if I should take this job. I’m trying to decide if we should move. I’m trying to decide what I should say to someone.
People don’t come to me and say, well, what kind of wisdom does the Bible have for me pastor?
That may have almost everything to do with me. Maybe people don’t trust me. Maybe they don’t think I’ll keep my mouth shut.
I should tell you, almost all the personal stories I tell I ask before I tell. Even if it is the very general stuff, this other day I was having this conversation with this person and he said. If that was you, I probably asked you if I can tell others. And more likely than not, you forgot anyway 😊 No, I’m just kidding. If I told something you told me privately, I’m sorry. I apologize. I hope you’ll come tell me so I can apologize personally. There are too many reasons already to distrust pastors.
The other thing, is maybe people don’t think I have anything wise to add. It’s the kind of situation where we say, look I’ve got life figured out enough. I got plenty of people telling me what to do. I’ve never got enough from pastor or a church that adds enough and makes me want more.
Is it one of those things? Look, this is not about me. I’m just as bad at this as any of the rest of us is.
This week I finally called another pastor and asked for some advice about some questions. I have another question I’ve been wanting to talk through with someone for a long time. Have I? Nope.
See this is the thing. Does God care about what we know and believe? Does God care about what we do? You tell me. This is the introduction to Proverbs.
“Proverbs … for gaining wisdom and instruction...for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair;” (Proverbs 1:2-3)
Does God care about what we know and believe? Yes
Does God care about what we do? Yes
Adventure
So here is the promise today: If you will take some advice, you’ll get a little closer to the good life.
Proverbs makes this bold claim about “The Good Life.”
Wisdom has its foundation in 1 word. Get ready to be uncomfortable.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Fear. Just saying that makes me feel uncomfortable.
If there’s a God who made the universe and you disobey him, to disobey the God who made the universe is not just wrong; it’s stupid. If there’s a God and he made the universe and you disobey him, it’s not just wrong; it’s dumb. It’s not going to work.
Wisdom assumes you’re good, assumes you’re following the moral rules, but it is quite possible to be very moral and still be stupid.
Wisdom is not less than being good; it’s more. Wisdom is knowing what the right thing is to do in the 80 percent of life situations to which the moral rules don’t directly apply.
Can I make a confession? I think the thing that drives me crazy more than anything about being a pastor is that most of the time I don’t know what to do. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not dumb. You haven’t hired a worthless pastor.
I have these things I have to do. Stay married to my wife. Raise my kids. Preach the Word. Teach the Word.
But what does that mean? On Monday morning should I study the sermon text? Write a devotion? Invite some people to church? Read a book? So many choices! None wrong!
The apostle Paul says, “So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” Jesus said, “What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.”
I think I have pretty good reasons to be afraid.
That’s not all bad. There is negative fear and positive fear.
Adrian addressing Hailee’s confirmation
Confession of faith to our seminary president.
Here is the point. When you find yourself in the presence of somebody you so revere, you are in such awe of, has that ever happened to you? You just sort of tremble. It’s a positive fear. It’s not a negative fear. The negative fear is you’re afraid somebody is going to hurt you. A positive fear is you’re afraid you’re going to disappoint them, you’re going to dishonor them, you’re going to grieve them or something because you love them so much, because you appreciate them so much.
The negative fear is actually selfish. “I’m afraid I’m going to get hit.” The positive fear is actually all about the person. “I don’t want in any way to dishonor this person or bore this person or offend this person or certainly grieve this person.” That is the fear of the Lord. That is a fear that is a joyful fear. It’s a positive fear. It’s awe and wonder before him.
It is taking justice and righteousness seriously and it is
I’ve told you before that I’ve been afraid of God. I’ve admitted it
And that wasn’t the best.
But you know what I did do then? I didn’t fear anyone else.
· Not afraid at the annual review
· Tough meetings with my boss
· I wasn’t afraid of critical people
“The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.” Oswald Chambers
Wisdom is a “who” more than a “what”. It has so much to do with who we think about, what we care about.
God tells us there is a person whose
1 Corinthians 1:30-31
30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
God has given you wisdom in the person of Jesus.
He has displayed righteousness and holiness in every step of his life. That has redeemed us from sin death and the devil.
God would see Jesus at work through you. He prepared the great works of Jesus to be worked out in our life.
Can you say this with me?
Jesus is
· (my name here) righteousness
· (my name here) holiness
· (my name here) redemption
Jesus is my wisdom.
Action
Two cards
· One, write down today’s proverb in your own words as best as you can. Take it home and put it on
· Two, I hope that at least some of you will write a proverb or a piece of wisdom down. Then stick it up on the wall.
Maybe we can get a little bit better at knowing this wisdom that comes from God.
You’re going to be amazed that God will reveal to you about Jesus. And you’re going to be amazed to see God reveal Jesus through you.