Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger, do not sin.”
Exodus 34:6 “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God slow to anger”.
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.”
Proverbs 20:2 “A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”
Proverbs 30:33 “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy”
Listening guide
John Casey - We must master our anger or it will master us.
The good of anger
Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger, do not sin.”
Exodus 34:6 “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God slow to anger”.
Problems with anger ….
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.”
____________________ of anger
Proverbs 20:2 “A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”
Proverbs 30:33 “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy”
the ______________________ of anger
“Take this cup from me. But no, okay, I’ll drink the cup.” (Luke 22:42)
Anger can be okay, but beware its source and results. Let’s have ________________ to ______________________.
Discussion questions
Sermons
Some of you may have seen the TV show Chuck. It features this nerdy guy named Chuck. He works at a Best Buy type store. His friend Bryce is a super spy. He sends him a computer program that basically turns Chuck into this insane bionic man. This makes him the greatest asset of the United States military.
The show is just ridiculous. It makes me laugh. Chuck has two elite bodyguards, one named John Casey. He is an elite warrior, trained in all sorts of martial arts and tactics. One time, he faces his old trainer – his sensei. His sensei has gone rogue – he is evil.
They fight. His sensei beats him, just pounds him. His sensei says, “you’ve lost your calm John. Your center is filled with conflict.” Then Chuck says to John, “I know why you’re such a mean person. You’re scared. Scared to be known. Scared that we would actually care about you. … Underneath you care. … Admit, say it, you love me, John Casey.”
John is ticked. He says, “I’m going to kill you.” Chuck turns him toward his sensei. He wins the fight. Chuck says, “Casey doesn’t really have a calm center. It’s more of an angry center.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A6h729SFv0&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=SweRicardo)
There is actually a lot to suggest the value of anger – not just for fighting. Researcher Todd Kashdan writes that “Research overwhelmingly indicates that feeling angry increases optimism, creativity, effective performance—and research suggests that expressing anger can lead to more successful negotiations, in life or on the job.” (TODD KASHDAN, ROBERT BISWAS-DIENER, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_right_way_to_get_angry
University of Michigan researchers found that unexpressed anger....when we hide anger it actually physically hurts us.
As a Christian, especially a young Christian, I tended to think all anger was bad. I’m not saying there isn’t good reason to think that. I had plenty of reason to think that. In my experience, angry people hurt themselves and others.
I had people who were so angry with things that they tried to kill themselves. I had people that when they felt wronged in a relationship they would intentionally try to ruin all the relationships of that person. I had people who were so hurt by family members that they seethed with anger all the time.
Adventure
And I know that is some of you. You’ve been hurt, at various times and in various ways. There is abuse, manipulation, deception, and mistreatment. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. That is just wrong. Period.
No matter how badly we’ve been treated or how much bad we’ve experienced, the Bible still shows us something. In Genesis 4, there is this story of two brothers, Cain and Abel.
Cain is angry. God comes to Cain and says, Cain, why are you angry? Sin is crouching at your door, you must rule over it.
This is what God shows us. We must master our anger or it will master us. Unless we’ve been changed by the gospel, anger is awful.
Today, God wants to change our anger into something better. Make it good. Make it better. Because anger can help. But it needs to be changed.
Develop
God knows more about anger than any of us. Let me show you.
He says that anger, in limited doses, is good.
Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger, do not sin.” Or some translations say “be angry and do not sin”. So for all of you saying, pastor this is kind of awkward. We were running late to church today and the kids just weren’t hurrying so I got angry and yelled at them to hustle, here is your note. I hope you got angry and did not sin.
Even God gets angry. When God announced his name he said, (Exodus 34:6) “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God slow to anger”. He didn’t say, “the God of no anger”. He said the God of slow anger.
And yet, yet,
The Bible is almost always negative about anger.
Here are 8 times that anger or angry shows up in the book of Proverbs. Sometimes the cause of anger is the problem.
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.”
This is far from a comprehensive list. These are two of the most common things that cause anger. Harsh words and mockery. We’d love to imagine that we get angry for good reasons. The truth is, what causes our anger? We make fun of people or we’re just mean.
Other times it’s what anger produces, the result of anger that is the problem.
Proverbs 20:2 “A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins”
Proverbs 30:33 “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy”
---skip these---
Proverbs 21:14 “A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath.”
Proverbs 22:24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered,
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Look at all the bad things anger produces: death, conflict, strife, cruelty This is terrible. This is awful. Some of you experience this. Some of you live in homes like this. Some of you work in places like this.
I say that because I’ve been there. I’ve got my own problem with anger. I don’t think its really anymore or less than anyone else. I’ve just been there where almost all the time, anger has bad causes and bad results. I’ve been the guy....
One of the ways I process my anger is when I’m running. I’m running down the street and yelling about things. If you ever come driving past while I’m running, don’t take anything personally. It’s probably not about you.
Some of you are going to say, look pastor, the stuff I’m angry about....I don’t know if it’s bad causes or results. I’m angry because someone I loved was abused, or I was abused. I was cheated. I was lied to. Are you sure this isn’t one of those places where the Bible is just so traditional it can’t get it right?
Look, I get you. I understand that traditional cultures put all the emphasis on the family and the tribe and the clan and the nation. I know in those situations your part is to not rock the boat so that everyone can win. What you tell people to do with your anger, I heard this in China, people say, “Good people don’t get angry.” At first it sounds like this what the Bible is saying. It’s just another traditional culture. I don’t think that’s it.
Individualistic cultures, like America, the West, we put all this emphasis on getting your rights. We hold up anger as positive and say, express it. Yell at people. If people don’t listen to you when you ask nicely, well then sometimes you need to yell and scream or act violently until people do.
The first problem with this.... it’s kind of snobbish. Don’t you think it’s a little snobbish? If I say, all those traditional people want to control their anger. They don’t get angry. We know better. We emphasize individual rights and liberties. We let everyone speak up, everyone gets a vote. It’s much better this way.
Look, isn’t that just a little snobbish? Don’t you think there is more than a little sense there of, we modern Americans are better than everyone else?
Here is the thing. What right do you have to be angry? You’ve be wrong. You’ve been hurt. You’ve been taken advantage. You’ve been mistreated. I’m sorry. That’s terrible. It’s not right.
That doesn’t mean anger is right.
I want you to take a look at Jesus.
I would guess that Jesus was almost as angry as much as anyone else in his life. In the short time we know of Jesus’ story, as a 30 year old adult male, he didn’t just participate in but he actually started something of his own protest. He cleansed the temple. He didn’t just help the sick and poor, but he actually went into an ancient church where everyone was gathered around a sick man. He asked if it was okay to help the man. He was angry, furious with the leaders when they wouldn’t help. What I mean is, he was basically filing a public court case on behalf of a guy. He gets angry at people who push away and hurt and harm children. He tells them to throw themselves into the sea. He is angry at a tree because it symbolizes the Jewish leaders and doesn’t produce fruit, so he actually curses it.
There is only one time in Jesus’ life when you would think he would be angry, but he isn’t. Not at all. On trial and on the cross. They beat him. They spit on him. They falsely accuse him. Still, Mark says he was silent. He didn’t say a word.
Where is the outrage? Where is the anger at this? The first thing we’d all say is that it happened a long time ago. There is no need. Still, there is something more here. You watch Peter after Jesus’ death, or Stephen, or Paul. They aren’t mad. They aren’t angry.
There is something far deeper going on. Jesus is transforming anger and wrath itself.
In the garden of Gethsemane, before the trial and death, he said, “Take this cup from me. But no, okay, I’ll drink the cup.” (Luke 22:42) What’s the cup? Everywhere in the Old Testament the cup is the cup of God’s anger. The cup of anger is God’s anger we deserve. On the cross Jesus not only took our anger which he did not deserve, but he also took the anger we deserve. He took the wrath of God that should have been poured out on us.
A neat, not perfect example of how this matters comes from another pastor. He tells about two women he counseled once. Both had teenage sons. Both had husbands who were being lousy fathers. Because of the lousy fathering – and probably other reasons, the sons were starting to get in trouble with the law.
Both the wives were really mad at their husbands. I counseled them to forgive. The wife who had the worst husband did, and the wife who had the husband who wasn’t nearly that bad couldn’t do it. Why? Because for her the most important thing in her entire life was her son’s love. If her son loved her, then everything was fine. If her son didn’t love her, she didn’t even want to live. She believed in God, but God’s love was an abstract concept.
The other woman could say something like, God really does love me. I’m ticked at this whole situation. I’m upset at my husband. The most important thing in my life, is God’s love. My son broke rules, he broke laws. He is getting the punishment he deserves. There isn’t anything in me better than my husband. This is clearly an example of God’s grace. God’s wrath has fallen on Jesus. What he did is so awesome, so incredible. I can forgive my husband.
The other woman, I don’t know exactly what she was saying, but I imagine she was saying something like, I’m ticked at my husband. He has messed up my son. He has failed my son. He has messed up our lives. I’m more angry at that than I am at my son who has broken rules and laws. She never even thought, God actually does punish rule breakers. He actually was angry at his own Son. She never had the courage to confront them.
Even if you don’t believe in God, it’s nice to think that any God would be a forgiving God. Certainly he’ll forgive me, he’ll accept me, and welcome me. He'll even do the same for other people.
But if that’s all God is for you, then love will never be real.
The gospel says that God has poured out more wrath on Jesus than you could ever imagine and he has raised Jesus up to a higher glory and honor than you could ever imagine. Your anger is nothing compared to the anger that Jesus has already endured. Whatever amount of anger you have for anything in this life he already has absorbed in himself.
If you see Jesus Christ taking the wrath and rage at infinite cost to himself, then you see the ultimate strike to deal with all the abuse, the lieing, and the cheating in life. He loved sinners and hated the sin. Now he is a Lord and King with more power, glory, and honor then you can ever imagine. If you are melted by the knowledge, stunned into silence by how he responded to our anger, then when other people wrong you, you can do the same. You can say, “Hey, I’ve been wronged, but I wronged God, and at infinite cost, he changed my anger to the deepest love.”
Anger can be okay, but beware its source and results. Let’s have courage to confront.
Action
Can we do this together?
Let’s recognize wrath and we’ll gain the courage to confront
I have had my own problems with anger. I’m not sure...I’ve heard a few younger guys say, “I don’t get angry that often and I’m glad for it.” I think most younger guys are angry a lot.
Anger can be okay, but beware its source and results. Let’s have courage to confront.