Matthew 17:1-9
After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2 There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. 3 Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.
4 Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”
5 While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”
6 When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. 7 But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” 8 When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus.
9 As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus instructed them, “Don’t tell anyone what you have seen, until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.
Listening guide
Basic ways to practice good listening ...
Good listening ______ ____ ______ other people.
Great listening __________ us and them.
“Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,” (Is 53:4)
“Carry each other’s burdens” (Gal 6:2)
Love to listen … and be loved.
Discussion questions
Sermon
Here are some basic ways to practice good listening.
“Are we okay?”
I put away my phone, stop the video game, or turn off the TV when people want to talk to me. I give them my attention.
I don’t get defensive or judgmental.
“I thought you said …. Is that what you mean?” Or “I missed something in what you said...let’s try again.” Can I clarify?
“Tell me more” “Do you want to tell me anything else?”
“What I’m hearing you say is” or “What would you like me to remember from this conversation?”
All these and more are part of good listening. What about you? What do you add as good ways to practice listening?
One I left off is attunement. It’s matching your nonverbal body signals to those of the other person.
I'm not even going to ask how you and I are at listening. I don’t want to make us anxious.
Michael E experience – do you want to tell me more
“you changed my life”
Become good (or at least better) listeners
Listening is the first way to show people we care. This is another place where the Bible and good common sense and research all say basically the same thing.
Stephen Covey said, Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Ernest Hemingway said “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” I always think that scene from the old Robin Hood is pretty funny. The castle is burning down. The snake and Prince John watch it burn. “I knew it. I knew it. I just knew this would happen. I tried to warn you, but no, you wouldn't listen. You just had to...” And then Prince John chases the snake trying to smash his mother’s mirror on him.
Religions value listening too. Solomon summarizes the wisdom “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” (Pr 19:20) Theologian David Mathis writes, "Poor listening diminishes another person, while good listening invites them to exist and matter.” The fourth precept of Buddhism says speak rightly of others, and to do that listen well.
What the Bible adds is that listening is also the way to love God. It’s kind of surprising! The oldest summary of the Jewish faith was a sentence called the shema. “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.” They said, “hear”. Listen. The beginning of a life with God was listening. Jesus made the same point about listening.
“Listen to him.” the Father said. Most of the time when Jesus told a parable, he didn’t say, “Go and do likewise.” He said, “he who has ears to hear, let him hear.” This is different from religion
Religion says, “Do good and maybe God will accept you, love you, and forgive you.” Your whole relationship with god begins with what you do. The Bible and the gospel start with “Listen”. It’s not about what you do. You listen. That’s how it starts. You simply be with God.
That’s what good listening does. It puts us with other people.
Heard a great story of powerful listening this week.
A man spent about 15 years in the police department, especially working in the narcotics division. (https://vimeo.com/387666461, 25:00 ff)
He retires. He actually decides to go and become a pastor.
One day, he picks up the phone. It’s his chief! They haven’t talked in years. That day together in the duck blind was one of the best days of my life.
What makes you different? I’m not. If anything, its because I’ve got church and the Lord’s important to me.
What’s important is that Jesus is our Savior.
You have no idea who I really am. You might be surprised.
“I love you”. “I love you too chief.” He gets home and tells his wife, I think I might do something stupid.
He bought a plane ticket. Got off work and went to the airport. Walked into the hospital.
Looked at me, looked at his wife, “I just talked to you. Is this real?” Why would you do this for me?
Last night, I said “I love you.” That was just shock. No man has ever said that to me. I realized that if I really did love you, I would do everything I could to make sure you knew I loved you, including tell you about Jesus.
Can I please tell you about Jesus? “I think it is a good time for that.”
What’s going on? He entered someone’s world. He left his own world and he traveled to someone else’s world. He is stepping into it. It’s surrounding him. It’s enveloping him. Consuming him. Do you know what is going to happen?
What’s going to happen is. That moment and those words press on him. They push on him. That hospital room, that chief, they shape him and mold him.
That’s what really great listening is. It’s leaving your own world and entering someone else’s world. That is exactly what happens to Peter, Andrew, and James. The cloud envelopes them. They have left their own world and traveled to the world of Jesus. They’re surrounded by him and his glory. It pushes on them. Confronts them. And then those words change you and them. Great listening changes us and them.
I’m going to put to you, I think we need to let this happen. You can try to stay in your own world if you want. People do it all the time. Have you ever told someone, “who are you to tell me what to do?” Or maybe you’re a Bon Jovi fan. I kind of am. We recently got Guitar Hero back up at our house and I’ve rocked out “It’s My Life” a couple of times. What does that song say? It says, why should I listen to you. Why should I enter your world and see life from your perspective.
A couple hundred years ago, people wouldn’t have asked this question. They wouldn’t have talked this way. Why? Because 500 years ago, people lived in a communal or collectivistic society. People made decisions about questions like who am I, what’s my place in the world, and what am I supposed to do with my life through the filter of “us”. People said, my grandpa was a blacksmith, my dad was a blacksmith, my brother is a blacksmith, I must be a blacksmith too. We live in an individualistic society.
That means we answer questions like “who am I?”, “what’s my place in the world?” and “what am I supposed to do with my life” through the filter of “me” not “us”.
I’m not saying that’s all bad. Sometimes people will answer the question in life of “who am I?” with the answer, my dad was a carpenter, now I’m a philanthropist. People are so much more likely to serve people. It’s much easier to answer the question, “How can I help you?” than it is to say, “how can we get together and help all those people?” So I’m not saying this necessarily a bad thing.
Where it is a problem is when we say, “who am I listening to?” “who gets to speak into my life?” Because we’re most likely to answer, just me.
I think we need to listen well, even if it changes our lives, because if ever there was a person who could have said, “Who are you to tell me what to do?” it was Jesus. Or he could have said, “It’s my life.”
Instead what he says
“Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,” (Is 53:4)
You think how do you carry someone’s pain? Jesus did it in a profound way. He listened to their sicknesses, the fears, and their questions.
“Carry each other’s burdens” (Gal 6:2)
Because if he has listened to us, how can we not listen to others?
Action
Listen to Jesus so you can listen to us.
C.S. Lewis wrote an essay called, “At the Fringe of Language”. He said if your basic message is how to do something, language isn’t the best way to convey it. He actually said language isn’t very good at describing complex operations. He said, for example, if you’re trying to get across to somebody how to tie a Windsor knot in a man’s tie, don’t write it out in words.
I’m convinced that’s why Youtube is so awesome. Men finally have a place to get directions that actually make sense to them.
With Jesus we don’t have someone who gives us instructions. We get a message that says, I’ve died for you. I’ve risen for you. I forgive you. I accept you because of me. And I invite to
Love to listen … and be loved.